...on Making Friends and Goals

Today has been a surprisingly fantastic day!  Not that I was expecting it to be bad or anything, but I guess I was just assuming it would be any other normal day.

Most importantly - I got to talk to my husband today :)  It has been 4 or 5 days since I've heard anything from him, so this phone call was very nice!  It was a fantastic way to begin a morning.  David is doing well, but he is dog-tired.  He just got out of the field and his team is spending the day cleaning the vehicles and weapons they used.  While everyone else was at breakfast this morning, David was sending emails and getting things done on the computer.  It seems like the poor guy doesn't ever get to eat meals!  I worry that he's going to cross a threshold for his capacity for mental stress... I feel so helpless in this situation.  All I can do is lend a listening ear, comfort him when times get tough for him, and send him all of my love.

Today I made plans to go to the gym with my friend Michelle.  I did a workout by myself until she got there, then we did a zumba class together.  It was fun!  She and I met at work, so I am definitely grateful for my job, although the organization for which I work isn't my favorite.  I like Michelle a lot despite the fact that she's only 19 years old; she's got a very grown personality and has a good sense of humor.  I love how eager she is to hear "my wisdom" about college, relationships, marriage, etc.  She's got a lot of knowledge and motivation to work out, so she's definitely a great person to have in my life!  She lives in Wilmington, and has invited me to her apartment, so I think we have potential to become close friends.

After lunch, I met up with a friend named Jenny who I met through LINKS.  I am seriously glad that I started volunteering with LINKS!  Jenny is great - we spent 3 hours together and it felt like no time at all.  We met up at my favorite Italian place nearby called Englese's.  I had the lobster ravioli, which I will totally order again!  Anyway, we spent two hours at the restaurant, just talking about books that we're reading, how to deal with a long deployment, and our pets.
Her husband was deployed for a year, so she knows what crazy things are going through my head and how I'm feeling.  She gave me some really great advice and a sense of hope that David and I might be able to talk more than what I imagine.  I think I'm defensively imagining that I'll never get to talk to my husband so that if this is the case, then maybe it won't hurt as much.  It is nice to have hope for a better situation, though.
We talked about making goals while our husbands are deployed, for the simple fact that you will always be striving for that goal while they're gone.  I want to get involved in a workout routine like what I did in college, I want to get a more permanent and full-time job, and I want to decorate our house to make it more homey. I'm in the process of decorating already, and I must admit that it's really fun!

...on The First Phase of Deployment

I'm having a roller-coaster of emotions right now, and although I'm quite literally surrounded by friends right now, I can't get these thoughts off of my mind.  I need to write it all out so that I can feel better.  I can't ignore them anymore.  I can't push them into the back of my mind.  My thoughts tend to swirl into oblivion until they are all I am thinking about, almost obsessing over them, until I come to terms and cope with the inevitable.

David and I have started the first phase of deployment: ATG.  I have to preface this next paragraph by saying that I have dated guys in the military before.  I have dealt with separation several times in the past 5 years; however, I have never been married before and I am quite honestly scared of this deployment.  I am scared that my husband will change or I will change, and we will be reunited in a year to find out that we are totally different people.  When you are just dating, you are able to either work out those differences or leave.  In marriage, you're not supposed to leave, but people often do.  I hope that a year apart from each other doesn't provide an opening for our relationship to change drastically and cause any unhappiness on either of our parts.  I know this thought has circled my mind a few different times.  I am trying to push the thought out of my mind altogether, but hard as I try, I can't always ignore it.

I am also very scared of the fact that I have to find a way to carve out an existence by myself for a year.  Okay, not literally by myself, because I have such great friends that I can lean on... but my husband is my best friend.  He completes me.  I can't imagine my life without him now that I have had the honor of having him with me.  I know a year is temporary, but it's still a long time in my opinion.  I know that, ultimately, I'll be okay and I'll probably come out a stronger person because of our time apart.  I know that lots of people do this kind of separation all the time.  I know that I have a nice, long list of all of the things that I want to accomplish over the next year.  I know that people say I'll get through it.  I'm not as strong as I thought I was, so it's definitely going to take a lot of courage and inner strength to get through this year.  I'm already starting to cry just thinking about it.

My heart breaks every time I think about being away from my husband.  I love him so much that I am willing to go through this deployment... and at the same time I'm very cognizant of my fears.

...on Our First 6 Months

David and I have officially been married for 6 months!  In looking back, it was a trying period of time for both David and me.  I'm so thankful that David has such a good attitude, because the very beginning of our life together was a little bit of a roller coaster for me and I wasn't always the most fun person to be around.  A lot of growing up has happened since then, and I'm much better for it now.  I really wouldn't be as stable as I am without the support of my wonderful man!

For the most part, though, our marriage has been tons of fun.  We've gotten to know each other a lot better; we've learned each other's quirks and our pet-peeves.  I just realized something interesting: David and I didn't have to learn how to live together.  It just kind of... worked.  We both go to bed fairly early and we wake early, so no problems there.  You know how the saying goes, "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise!"  I help him out as much as I can when it comes to getting him ready for work, and he makes sure to tell me how much he appreciates it.  We eat the same way: choosing real food over packaged/processed items whenever possible.  We both love to cook, and we're both helpful in cleaning the kitchen.  (Or, rather, we are sometimes helpful in cleaning the kitchen, ha!  Sometimes we let the mess linger for a bit longer than we would like.  Still, the point is that we're on the same page with that.)  We are both pretty frugal.  We believe in homemade cleaning supplies to reduce synthetic chemicals in the house.  We never fight over the thermostat.  We adopted 2 cats in April that we share in the responsibility of cleaning up after, feeding, and watering them.  I'm really pleased at how easy it was to move in here and sincerely feel like it was my home!  David definitely helped me feel welcome here by getting excited to decorate with me when my furniture was being moved in.  Wow, that seems like it was so long ago!!  How time flies when you're having fun...

To celebrate the first half year, David made dinner at home while I set up a movie for us to watch - we chose Kung Fu Panda!  We ate on the coffee table while we sat on the floor, so it was kind of a picnic in the living room :)  Afterward, David treated me to a full-body massage, which felt phenomenal.  We went to bed and we both slept like logs.  I can easily say, without a doubt, I have never been treated so well in all my life!  David is such an easy man to love.  He's the most romantic, most understanding, most respectful, most appreciative, most eager-to-please-his-wife man I know.  Marriage won't always be this easy, I know this, but having a guy like him around will definitely help the hard times be few and far between.

...on Our Family Vacation!

My in-laws have a timeshare, and apparently they use it quite often to get together with the family.  This summer, the family of my MIL (mother-in-law) all drove up to a ski resort in Massanutten, VA.  Obviously, the snow sports were not in season, but the lodge had literally hundreds of other activities in which we could partake.  Since I had a mandatory meeting at work on Sunday evening, I did not leave for the trip until Monday morning.  The family had been at the resort since Saturday, so I spent two days being jealous and hearing about all of the amazingly fun things that were going on.  I have a problem with acting like a 2-year-old when I'm jealous, and I have apologized profusely to my husband about that... it's going to be a personal project to get over myself and grow up!

When I did arrive on Monday, dinner was being prepared (talk about perfect timing, huh?) and the family was literally buzzing!  I walked into the "main" apartment and was confronted by at least 14 of the 20-something family members who were in attendance.  I met some of my new aunts and uncles for the first time, and grandpa gave me a hug.  I must admit I cried a little.  He doesn't do much of the touchy-feely business, so hugging really isn't his forte... but he hugged me!!  It was heart-warming.

We spent the week doing yoga, swimming, working out, taking walks, watching movies, playing board games, playing card games, cooking, eating, drinking, laughing, etc etc etc!  We took a class on stress management, a class on massage techniques, and even went on a tour of some pretty sweet caverns nearby.  It was truly a TON of fun.  I loved hanging out with David's cousins, who are roughly our same age and equally as nerdy as we are.  The best part was that David had a week to be stress-free!  He rarely gets a break from the stresses of his job (technically he was still doing some work stuff during the trip via his computer!)  Nonetheless, it was great seeing him relax a little bit.

...on Easy Date Night Ideas

David and I are a very LAZY married couple, and that is one of the many reasons why we work well together.  We are fine with sitting on the couch, cuddling, watching a tv show or movie, and only getting up to cook a meal!  Don't misunderstand my message here - we spend plenty of time talking with each other, laughing, playing cribbage, and communicating :)  One thing we really don't do is choose date nights outside the confines of our home.  We spend plenty of time out of the house with friends, but rarely just the two of us; I know he and I both get cabin fever every once in a while, so having options on hand for a random date might be a good idea.

Get a large-mouth mason jar and a handful of pop-sickle sticks.  You can color-code the pop-sickle sticks based on how much money is required for the date, so you know what to aim for when you're randomly choosing one out of the jar.  I don't know if I would do the pop-sickle stick thing because I tend to cheat.  If I don't like the date idea that I pulled, I'll pull a new one... haha!  So I think the best idea is for me to have a list of them set aside somewhere for quick reference when we need them.  The ideas on Pinterest were: Dates at home, Cheap dates in town, Expensive dates in town, and Dates that require planning.

Dates at home:
-Rent a movie (his choice/her choice)
-Play a board game
-Picnic in the yard (or living room if weather is bad)
-Candle-lit dinner
-TV Show marathon
-Give each other a massage
-Get a few craft beers and do a tasting
-Wine and Cheese night
-Homemade Fondue
-Bake a dessert together

Cheap dates in town:
-Dinner at an inexpensive restaurant
-Dessert only at a restaurant
-Walk on the beach
-Walk through the park
-Window shop/ Walk around a shopping center
-Visit Airlie Gardens
-Go out for wine and appetizers
-Go to a fitness center for Yoga
-Rent a kayak for an hour
-Movie at a theater (his choice/ her choice)

Expensive dates in town:
-Dinner at The Melting Pot
-Parasailing
-Sushi night!  (Sushi is not BOGO in our current town like we're used to having back home)
-Ferry ride and dinner
-Couples massage at a spa


That said, whenever the urge overwhelms us to leave the house, we can use this little trick to quickly choose a nice date.  I read this idea from a blog on Pinterest where the date ideas were separated out by price range and the preemptive planning involved (i.e., Stay at a bed and breakfast), but that really isn't needed for us.

...on A Parasailing Adventure!

David, his sister, and I went parasailing this past weekend.  If you asked me, "Hey Bev, how was your time parasailing?"  I would reply, "It was fantastic!  Although we were flying 800 feet in the air, my stomach didn't drop like it tends to do on roller coasters; in fact, the general sensation was extremely serene!  The view was amazing!  We saw literally hundreds of sharks in the water (which promotes my fear of swimming too far out in the ocean), but we didn't see any of the wild ponies on the islands of the outer banks.  I would totally do it again!"

If you were to ask David and Theresa the same question, "Hey guys, how was your time parasailing?"  Their reply would be dramatically different.  They didn't have a bad time, per se, but they definitely had an adventure-filled experience.  They went up in the air for about 2 minutes before the boat went KAPUT!  (I was still in the boat, taking pictures and enjoying a chat with the fellow parasailers).  The captain of the boat tried to restart the engine twice, as David and Theresa drifted toward the ocean in the parachute.  Recall the hundreds of sharks that David and I saw on our turn in the parachute?  Yeah... they were descending directly into THOSE waters.  Yikes!

Meanwhile, on the boat, the captain turned to the first mate and said, "Well, shit.  Go get 'em!"  The first mate promptly threw on a life vest, dove into the water, and proceeded to swim out to my husband and sister-in-law.  Because the wind was still blowing into the inflated parachute, Dave and Theresa were pulled about 50 feet onto a small, undeveloped island where they were dragged into a sinking mud pit full of pillars of clams.  I couldn't see their bodies anymore, but it was evident that they were on land because I saw them manually deflating the parachute.

During his swim to shore, the first mate was given a ride by an inflatable rescue boat... until the motor of the boat got entangled in the parachute chord.  So, the first mate (poor guy!) hopped back out of the boat and continued his trek to the now beached parachute.  The captain of the boat continued his attempts to fix the engine by going below deck and switching out the broken fuse.  He tried to restart the boat, and the fuse blew out a second time!  All he could do was wait with us on the boat while his first made and the rescue boat pursued David and Theresa.

Of all the people that a crash-landing could happen to, David and Theresa are probably the best candidates for several reasons.  They are both extremely tough, calm in tough situations, and are problem-solvers.  Plus, David is a Marine and knows survival tips that would come in handy during an event such as this one!  Eventually, the parachute chord released its grip on the rescue boat and it reached the little island to aid in the rescue.  I began to worry when I saw an extremely muddy couple of people emerge from where the parachute had gone down and meet up with the rescue boat, but they were not immediately brought back to the main parasailing boat.  I was wondering, "What's taking so long?  Is everyone okay?  Are they doing first aid?"

I sat patiently, just waiting to hear anything at all, when finally the rescue boat docked alongside the main parasailing boat to "rescue" us as well and take us back to the facility on land.  Thankfully, despite landing in shark-infested waters and being dragged 50 feet into a clam-filled sinking mud pit, David and Theresa came out with just a few minor scratches.  I thank my lucky stars that they are alive and well!

If you're reading this and thinking, "I am NEVER going parasailing!" that would be extremely unfortunate.  The boat failure and consequential crash-landing is an event that happens one out of 10,000 flights!  In the four years that the captain had been working for the company, he had never witnessed a situation like ours.  It was extremely apparent that they practiced their emergency action plan often because it essentially went perfectly.  No one was terribly hurt, and we were not angry at all.  We got refunded our money and were given free t-shirts.  I really appreciate the manner in which the parasailing company treated the situation and would whole-heartedly fly with them again any time.

...on Au Naturel Cleaners

I've really taken an interest in making my own home cleaner, body soap, laundry detergent, facial cleanser, etc. I've been using Pinterest as a resource to find a lot of these recipes, and wanted to share them!  It's also much easier for me to have all of these recipes in one location.

I can't remember where I found the home cleaner recipe, but it's probably the simplest recipe ever:

Homemade All-purpose Cleaner
1 part water
1 part white vinegar
orange peels for scent

When you've got your water/vinegar mixture ready, put orange and/or lemon peels in the mixture to soak.  You can buy a big bag of oranges, and as you eat them throughout the week, dump the peels into your container.  The citrus oils are also considered to have cleaning properties, but I really like it for the smell.


Why do I choose to use homemade house cleaner?  For several reasons:


1) I don't like the idea of harsh, synthetic chemicals running rampant in my home.  That's a personal point of view that my husband and I share after doing research on how chemicals are causing physical harm to humans.  He and I are "au naturel" kind of people.
2) I feel an extra sense of pride when I clean with homemade cleaner.  I didn't go out to a store and pick up a bottle... I MADE IT!
3) Because the cleaner is not harsh chemicals, the smell doesn't sting my nostrils, doesn't trigger migraines, and doesn't linger for long after I clean.
4) It cleans just as well as any store-bought cleaner and is very inexpensive.

Homemade Laundry Soap
1 (4lb) box Borax "All Natural Laundry Booster"
1 (3lb) box Arm&Hammer Washing Soda
2 (2lb) boxes Arm&Hammer Baking Soda
2 (14oz) bars of Zote Soap or Fels Naptha

All of these ingredients can be found in your local grocery store in the laundry aisle (or baking aisle for baking soda).  You will need to use a cheese grater, also called a "Knuckle Buster" here in the south, and grate the 2 bars of soap.  Then, mix all of your ingredients together in a container that can be kept dry and water-proof.  You will need only about 1/8 cup per load!  Some folks have used much less, like 2TBspn per load of laundry... I guess it depends on your personal preferences and how much water your washing machine uses.

**If you want to make it scented, add approximately 1 TBspn of your essential oils to the grated soap before mixing with the other ingredients.**

Use in conjunction with one of the stain removers that I have listed below:

Homemade Non-Bleach Stain Remover
2 parts hot water
1 part Hydrogen Peroxide
1 part Washing soda  (Arm and Hammer brand, similar to baking soda)

Mix ingredients together and allow clothes to soak for 30 minutes or so.  The longer the soak, the more effective it will be!

**Use within 4-6 hours of mixing the ingredients together**

Homemade Stain-Remover Pre-Wash
#1 - Vinegar
Use plain white distilled vinegar in a spray bottle to soak your stained clothes before you wash.  You can spray it in the armpits, on spots, etc.  You can also add 1/2 to 1 cup of vinegar, along with your normal laundry detergent to help remove stains.

#2 - Lemons
You can add 1/4 to 1/2 cup of fresh lemon juice to your normal laundry detergent to help remove stains.  If you want a pre-wash soak, boil 2 lemons in a large pot of water.  Use the lemon-water to soak your laundry for an hour before you wash with your regular laundry detergent.

I just found this recipe the other day:

Brown Sugar and Lemon Face and Body Scrub
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sea salt
2 Tbspn coconut oil
1 Tbspn honey
2 Tbspn freshly squeezed lemon juice
*optional:
1 Tbspn of your favorite essential oil (Ex: eucalyptus, spearmint, lavender, jasmine)

Mix all ingredients together - it should form a paste.  Rub lightly into skin to exfoliate and rinse with warm water.  Apply a moisturizer afterward if you so choose.