...on Pre-Deployment Leave

David and I just returned home from a long and needed vacation.  We spent the first week traveling north to see family.  Our final destination was to spend a few days in CT with John, Allison, and our new nephew Ian.  Since the trip is 13 hours long, we decided to split the trip exactly in half by stopping in VA to visit extended family.  The first night was spent with Grandma and Grandpa Alden.  Aunt Kathy, Uncle Tom, and the boys all came over for a delicious lasagna dinner.

We made it to CT successfully, where we had 4 days of bonding fun with our brother and sister.  Oh, and Ian is simply precious.  He is a work of art!  Whenever we went out to eat, he was simply content in his stroller/carrier and wouldn't make a peep!  The week with John and Allison was filled with activities like visiting a winery, going to a Submarine museum, going to Boston, and Tastes of Mystic.  It was awesome!  I like them a lot and I thoroughly enjoyed getting to meet "Baby E."

On our trip back to NC, we stopped in VA again.  We spent a few minutes in Occoquan then headed to Tom and Kathy's house for dinner.  Grandma and Grandpa Alden came over and we had an AMAZING meal of meatloaf and potatoes.  It was simply marvelous!  Because there was a big storm, Grandma and Grandpa Alden lost electricity to their home.  We stayed the night at Tom and Kathy's house instead.

We got back home to find that our kitty feeding system hadn't worked like we had hoped.  I fixed the problem by putting out several bowls of cat food for them to last through the final week of our vacation.  We left for our flight early on Mon Sept 10.  We got to Florida by plane, then took the Florida public bus "LYNX" to get to our hotel and later to get to the parks.  It worked out well, except for the one glitch that I didn't notice in the initial planning of the buses... after David sorted it out, we were good to go :)

Monday was spent shopping for groceries and at a fun Irish Pub near the hotel.  We walked to/from those places because they were such short distances away.

Tuesday "Day 1" was spent at Epcot.  David and I loved being immersed in different cultures - it was like we were traveling around the world!  We had a blast and spent easily 6-7 hours at Epcot that day.  We had Norwegian chocolate, Moroccan kebabs, French pastries, and German bier and brauts.  I met Snow White again!  She's by far my favorite Disney Princess actress.  The way she moves her hands, walks, poses, even speaks is simply perfect.  I also met Mary Poppins that day... I wish it had been Julie Andrews.  We saw a British cover band called British Revolution and had tons of fun dancing to their classic rock!

Wednesday "Day 2" was spent at Hollywood Studios for the most part.  We enjoyed The Tower of Terror twice in a row :)  That was my second time conquering that ride and I'm still proud of myself for doing it!  We had a good time looking at the candid photos that the ride took - I was screaming in sincere horror and David was laughing and relaxed.  In the pictures, he was always looking at me with this expression of, "What is she screaming about?"  Like he had no cares in the world about a 13-story free fall!  After Hollywood Studios, we headed to Downtown Disney where we spent the evening eating and drinking at Raglan Road Irish Pub.  How do I even describe the most amazing food that I've ever had??  I got Shepherd's pie, David had Fish&Chips, we both had a "Flight of Dublin" beer tour, and we indulged in Bread pudding for dessert.  The "Flight of Dublin" consisted of a Harp, Smithwick's, Kilkenny, and Guinness.  The Kilkenny was my favorite because of its creamy consistency- it is a typical amber ale, but uses nitrogen when drafted.  Man, it was good!!

Thursday "Day 3" was spent in Magic Kingdom, but there wasn't much for kids our age.  We spent a very short period of time there and headed BACK TO EPCOT!  hahahaha, can't you tell how much we loved it there?  We had dinner in Germany where we had free reign over a delicious buffet of German food.  There was a live musical performance that was silly and fun!  We did a "Flight of Germany" beer tour, but I can't really recall what it consisted of.  The beer was all very delicious, but none of them are dark and malty, which are the beers that stand out to me.

Friday "Day 4" we spent in Animal Kingdom and... you guessed it... went back to Epcot afterward!  In Animal Kingdom, we enjoyed walking around the zoo/safari type setting they created.  We rode the Himalayan Yeti ride twice and the park was pretty much spent after that.  We ended up going back to Epcot that evening for more drinking and food.  We started with a "Flight of Tequila" from Mexico (we shared it!), David got a Modelo and I got a margarita, then we headed to Britain for a Black and Tan, stopped in Morocco for a gyro, then ended up in Mexico for dinner.  We missed the evening fireworks, but we didn't mind.  That was our final day at Disney and I really think we lived it up!

...on Daily Improvement

So, part of surviving distance is to make a plan each day to get OUT of the house!  Seriously though, if I didn't force myself to go somewhere, I sincerely wouldn't.  I didn't have toothpaste for the first 3 days after I got home from PA.  (Don't freak out, I used mouthwash every day.  I scrubbed with a toothbrush, too).  I saw myself living as if I was still in college, simply because I lost the drive to get out and about!  "What's the point of cooking a gourmet meal when my husband isn't here to enjoy it?"  Answer - Because I enjoy it!!

Most days I make a plan with a friend - accountability is KEY to make sure you actually get your butt off the couch.  I've established a workout routine to hopefully reach some goals in the 2 weeks that I have left.  I'm actually significantly improving in the areas that I was hoping for, so I'm really glad!  Also, I have a strong passion for finding a job to have once David leaves again in 6 weeks.  I've been applying for positions and I'm actually highly qualified for these jobs!  I haven't heard anything from them, yet... but I'm keeping my hopes up.  A couple of them are my dream jobs!  Jobs that can turn into a career!  Okay, Bev, time to keep my feet on the ground.

Also part of my daily plans are home-furnishing projects.  I have made several pieces of art which I now have littered around the living room.  My best friend Eden took me to IKEA for the first time and we bought a few pieces of decor for the kitchen; Eden also hand-made an apron for me, which is now hanging in its rightful spot in the kitchen.  All of these little projects have been hours of enjoyment, they've kept my mind off of missing my sweet husband, and they now serve a purpose in the house.  (Kind of.  I guess it depends on your perspective.  My husband's take on wall art - "I just don't understand having things in our house and their only purpose is to collect dust,")  He's going to love the stuff that I made, though.  He's the kind of guy who appreciates the hard work that goes into hand-making things :)

Here are some of the projects that I finished!

Cat grass!  I bought the seed starter kit at Walmart, then transplanted to my own flower pot.

The cats LOVE it.

Found the idea for this wall art on Pinterest.  I used fabric, styrofoam board, and staples.

The wall art from above, shown hanging in my living room.

The canister for the noodles and dispenser for the oil add a nice touch.

Eden's hand-made apron <3

The mirror and pictures from IKEA look so lovely.

This embroidery project is my favorite!  It's a gothic letter "C" and is proudly displayed as you walk in the garage door - husband and I will see it every day!

...on Making Friends and Goals

Today has been a surprisingly fantastic day!  Not that I was expecting it to be bad or anything, but I guess I was just assuming it would be any other normal day.

Most importantly - I got to talk to my husband today :)  It has been 4 or 5 days since I've heard anything from him, so this phone call was very nice!  It was a fantastic way to begin a morning.  David is doing well, but he is dog-tired.  He just got out of the field and his team is spending the day cleaning the vehicles and weapons they used.  While everyone else was at breakfast this morning, David was sending emails and getting things done on the computer.  It seems like the poor guy doesn't ever get to eat meals!  I worry that he's going to cross a threshold for his capacity for mental stress... I feel so helpless in this situation.  All I can do is lend a listening ear, comfort him when times get tough for him, and send him all of my love.

Today I made plans to go to the gym with my friend Michelle.  I did a workout by myself until she got there, then we did a zumba class together.  It was fun!  She and I met at work, so I am definitely grateful for my job, although the organization for which I work isn't my favorite.  I like Michelle a lot despite the fact that she's only 19 years old; she's got a very grown personality and has a good sense of humor.  I love how eager she is to hear "my wisdom" about college, relationships, marriage, etc.  She's got a lot of knowledge and motivation to work out, so she's definitely a great person to have in my life!  She lives in Wilmington, and has invited me to her apartment, so I think we have potential to become close friends.

After lunch, I met up with a friend named Jenny who I met through LINKS.  I am seriously glad that I started volunteering with LINKS!  Jenny is great - we spent 3 hours together and it felt like no time at all.  We met up at my favorite Italian place nearby called Englese's.  I had the lobster ravioli, which I will totally order again!  Anyway, we spent two hours at the restaurant, just talking about books that we're reading, how to deal with a long deployment, and our pets.
Her husband was deployed for a year, so she knows what crazy things are going through my head and how I'm feeling.  She gave me some really great advice and a sense of hope that David and I might be able to talk more than what I imagine.  I think I'm defensively imagining that I'll never get to talk to my husband so that if this is the case, then maybe it won't hurt as much.  It is nice to have hope for a better situation, though.
We talked about making goals while our husbands are deployed, for the simple fact that you will always be striving for that goal while they're gone.  I want to get involved in a workout routine like what I did in college, I want to get a more permanent and full-time job, and I want to decorate our house to make it more homey. I'm in the process of decorating already, and I must admit that it's really fun!

...on The First Phase of Deployment

I'm having a roller-coaster of emotions right now, and although I'm quite literally surrounded by friends right now, I can't get these thoughts off of my mind.  I need to write it all out so that I can feel better.  I can't ignore them anymore.  I can't push them into the back of my mind.  My thoughts tend to swirl into oblivion until they are all I am thinking about, almost obsessing over them, until I come to terms and cope with the inevitable.

David and I have started the first phase of deployment: ATG.  I have to preface this next paragraph by saying that I have dated guys in the military before.  I have dealt with separation several times in the past 5 years; however, I have never been married before and I am quite honestly scared of this deployment.  I am scared that my husband will change or I will change, and we will be reunited in a year to find out that we are totally different people.  When you are just dating, you are able to either work out those differences or leave.  In marriage, you're not supposed to leave, but people often do.  I hope that a year apart from each other doesn't provide an opening for our relationship to change drastically and cause any unhappiness on either of our parts.  I know this thought has circled my mind a few different times.  I am trying to push the thought out of my mind altogether, but hard as I try, I can't always ignore it.

I am also very scared of the fact that I have to find a way to carve out an existence by myself for a year.  Okay, not literally by myself, because I have such great friends that I can lean on... but my husband is my best friend.  He completes me.  I can't imagine my life without him now that I have had the honor of having him with me.  I know a year is temporary, but it's still a long time in my opinion.  I know that, ultimately, I'll be okay and I'll probably come out a stronger person because of our time apart.  I know that lots of people do this kind of separation all the time.  I know that I have a nice, long list of all of the things that I want to accomplish over the next year.  I know that people say I'll get through it.  I'm not as strong as I thought I was, so it's definitely going to take a lot of courage and inner strength to get through this year.  I'm already starting to cry just thinking about it.

My heart breaks every time I think about being away from my husband.  I love him so much that I am willing to go through this deployment... and at the same time I'm very cognizant of my fears.

...on Our First 6 Months

David and I have officially been married for 6 months!  In looking back, it was a trying period of time for both David and me.  I'm so thankful that David has such a good attitude, because the very beginning of our life together was a little bit of a roller coaster for me and I wasn't always the most fun person to be around.  A lot of growing up has happened since then, and I'm much better for it now.  I really wouldn't be as stable as I am without the support of my wonderful man!

For the most part, though, our marriage has been tons of fun.  We've gotten to know each other a lot better; we've learned each other's quirks and our pet-peeves.  I just realized something interesting: David and I didn't have to learn how to live together.  It just kind of... worked.  We both go to bed fairly early and we wake early, so no problems there.  You know how the saying goes, "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise!"  I help him out as much as I can when it comes to getting him ready for work, and he makes sure to tell me how much he appreciates it.  We eat the same way: choosing real food over packaged/processed items whenever possible.  We both love to cook, and we're both helpful in cleaning the kitchen.  (Or, rather, we are sometimes helpful in cleaning the kitchen, ha!  Sometimes we let the mess linger for a bit longer than we would like.  Still, the point is that we're on the same page with that.)  We are both pretty frugal.  We believe in homemade cleaning supplies to reduce synthetic chemicals in the house.  We never fight over the thermostat.  We adopted 2 cats in April that we share in the responsibility of cleaning up after, feeding, and watering them.  I'm really pleased at how easy it was to move in here and sincerely feel like it was my home!  David definitely helped me feel welcome here by getting excited to decorate with me when my furniture was being moved in.  Wow, that seems like it was so long ago!!  How time flies when you're having fun...

To celebrate the first half year, David made dinner at home while I set up a movie for us to watch - we chose Kung Fu Panda!  We ate on the coffee table while we sat on the floor, so it was kind of a picnic in the living room :)  Afterward, David treated me to a full-body massage, which felt phenomenal.  We went to bed and we both slept like logs.  I can easily say, without a doubt, I have never been treated so well in all my life!  David is such an easy man to love.  He's the most romantic, most understanding, most respectful, most appreciative, most eager-to-please-his-wife man I know.  Marriage won't always be this easy, I know this, but having a guy like him around will definitely help the hard times be few and far between.

...on Our Family Vacation!

My in-laws have a timeshare, and apparently they use it quite often to get together with the family.  This summer, the family of my MIL (mother-in-law) all drove up to a ski resort in Massanutten, VA.  Obviously, the snow sports were not in season, but the lodge had literally hundreds of other activities in which we could partake.  Since I had a mandatory meeting at work on Sunday evening, I did not leave for the trip until Monday morning.  The family had been at the resort since Saturday, so I spent two days being jealous and hearing about all of the amazingly fun things that were going on.  I have a problem with acting like a 2-year-old when I'm jealous, and I have apologized profusely to my husband about that... it's going to be a personal project to get over myself and grow up!

When I did arrive on Monday, dinner was being prepared (talk about perfect timing, huh?) and the family was literally buzzing!  I walked into the "main" apartment and was confronted by at least 14 of the 20-something family members who were in attendance.  I met some of my new aunts and uncles for the first time, and grandpa gave me a hug.  I must admit I cried a little.  He doesn't do much of the touchy-feely business, so hugging really isn't his forte... but he hugged me!!  It was heart-warming.

We spent the week doing yoga, swimming, working out, taking walks, watching movies, playing board games, playing card games, cooking, eating, drinking, laughing, etc etc etc!  We took a class on stress management, a class on massage techniques, and even went on a tour of some pretty sweet caverns nearby.  It was truly a TON of fun.  I loved hanging out with David's cousins, who are roughly our same age and equally as nerdy as we are.  The best part was that David had a week to be stress-free!  He rarely gets a break from the stresses of his job (technically he was still doing some work stuff during the trip via his computer!)  Nonetheless, it was great seeing him relax a little bit.

...on Easy Date Night Ideas

David and I are a very LAZY married couple, and that is one of the many reasons why we work well together.  We are fine with sitting on the couch, cuddling, watching a tv show or movie, and only getting up to cook a meal!  Don't misunderstand my message here - we spend plenty of time talking with each other, laughing, playing cribbage, and communicating :)  One thing we really don't do is choose date nights outside the confines of our home.  We spend plenty of time out of the house with friends, but rarely just the two of us; I know he and I both get cabin fever every once in a while, so having options on hand for a random date might be a good idea.

Get a large-mouth mason jar and a handful of pop-sickle sticks.  You can color-code the pop-sickle sticks based on how much money is required for the date, so you know what to aim for when you're randomly choosing one out of the jar.  I don't know if I would do the pop-sickle stick thing because I tend to cheat.  If I don't like the date idea that I pulled, I'll pull a new one... haha!  So I think the best idea is for me to have a list of them set aside somewhere for quick reference when we need them.  The ideas on Pinterest were: Dates at home, Cheap dates in town, Expensive dates in town, and Dates that require planning.

Dates at home:
-Rent a movie (his choice/her choice)
-Play a board game
-Picnic in the yard (or living room if weather is bad)
-Candle-lit dinner
-TV Show marathon
-Give each other a massage
-Get a few craft beers and do a tasting
-Wine and Cheese night
-Homemade Fondue
-Bake a dessert together

Cheap dates in town:
-Dinner at an inexpensive restaurant
-Dessert only at a restaurant
-Walk on the beach
-Walk through the park
-Window shop/ Walk around a shopping center
-Visit Airlie Gardens
-Go out for wine and appetizers
-Go to a fitness center for Yoga
-Rent a kayak for an hour
-Movie at a theater (his choice/ her choice)

Expensive dates in town:
-Dinner at The Melting Pot
-Parasailing
-Sushi night!  (Sushi is not BOGO in our current town like we're used to having back home)
-Ferry ride and dinner
-Couples massage at a spa


That said, whenever the urge overwhelms us to leave the house, we can use this little trick to quickly choose a nice date.  I read this idea from a blog on Pinterest where the date ideas were separated out by price range and the preemptive planning involved (i.e., Stay at a bed and breakfast), but that really isn't needed for us.